Episode 22 - You Can Do Hard Things

podcast Jan 25, 2023
Do Divorce Right
Episode 22 - You Can Do Hard Things

Listen to this episode, take a moment to appreciate yourself and everything you bring to the world! Realize that your unique talents are invaluable - despite how often we may be made to feel otherwise. Let's reflect on our strength by hearing an inspiring story of self-love.


Audio Transcript


Today I want to share a short story and a reminder of how freaking fabulous you are. Because you probably don’t hear it often enough. IN fact I don’t think any of us do!


You are awesome.

You are remarkable.

There is no one like you on the planet. And there has never been - and never will be - another you in any other time either. 

So you deserve to make this life extraordinary. 

You are worthy of so much.


When it comes to divorce, in some ways I guess you could say that I am one of the lucky ones. In so many ways I am NOT, but in this particular way I am; I was able to grieve my marriage while I was still in it.


I spent two years attending marriage counselling and trying my very best to keep our family unit together. I’m sure that my ex would remember it differently but that’s how I remember it. 


At the same time as working and hoping for things to be better between us, I was also working on things being better within myself.

A girlfriend was studying integrative nutrition and offered to coach me on a weight loss programme. My daughter was a year old and I was still feeling too heavy. 


Our daughter was only 2 when I left - so little! 


Through this time I was trying all kinds of things. Juice detoxing, tongue cleaning, dry skin scrubbing.. all of the goopy things. 


And I started moving more. I tried all of the classes at the gym, started strength exercises for the first time and started getting into phenomenal shape.


I think I was in better shape at 40 than I had been at any point before that in my life! 

Fast forward a few years; my marriage ended, I continued to respect my body and found a rhythm of movement and nutrition that worked for me and I met a wonderful man who also enjoyed being active. We started signing up for sports events together. We pushed each other to attempt Spartan races - you know the muddy obstacle course races? 

And vertical marathons - that is running up from the ground floor to the rooftop of skyscraper buildings as quickly as you can. 


One day over champagne mimosas for a girlfriend’s birthday, someone had the stroke of genius that we should all run a marathon together. 


I have never enjoyed road running and so I wasn’t especially keen, but this train of thought led to talking about bucket list items and someone - perhaps it was me, I don’t remember - mentioned running a marathon on the Great Wall of China. 


That felt exciting. Terrifying, but exciting. 


I blame the champagne but very quickly 5 of us had signed up to run a ½ marathon on the Great Wall of China.


The training was mostly trail runs and a LOT of stair climbing.


And some days the training runs were fantastic. I was motivated, excited, feeling strong and impressed with the capability of this body that I’ve always had mixed feelings about.


But MOST days the training runs were awful. Painful, slow, sweaty. I felt fatigued, out of my depth, horrified and terrified that I was signed up for something so challenging. 


Who did I think I was? I’m no runner. 


Some days I was barely a walker.


But of course I kept showing up. I had made a commitment to the girls and I wasn’t going to be the one that pulled out. I didn’t want to miss what was going to be an epic girls weekend and a bucket list achievement. 


So I kept showing up. And putting one foot in front of the other.


Until race day. 

Nervous as fluff we were up before dawn to take the bus from Beijing to the Great Wall and before any of us knew it, we were racing. On the great wall of china. It was phenomenal. I stopped - more than a few times - but intentionally I stopped to take it in. To really acknowledge where I was and what I was doing!


I mustn’t have stopped very much because - I’m still in shock to tell you this - but I came in the top 10 female finishers for the race. I came in 7th. 

One from our group came in first - so no wonder I always felt slow on the training runs, she is a machine!

Anyhow, that will always be an achievement that I am proud of. And something no one can take away from me. No matter how many future races I compete in, or if I hang up my running shoes tomorrow - which I’m not going to do - I will always be delighted that I was able to do that incredible thing. One time, a long time ago.


Time doesn’t take away that achievement.


And I’m not sure if you listened to my episode from last week where I ran a session on powerful resilience techniques and I mentioned a ‘pitch file’ but in case you haven’t; this is what I’m talking about. I want you to have a think about the incredible things that you’ve already done with your one wild and precious life.


Perhaps you’ve travelled to foreign places.

Swam with turtles, dolphins, whales. 

Left your parent’s home for university.

Been promoted.

Presented on stage

Birthed a child or two

Cared for a parent, a sibling, a friend or child

Had a story or poem published

Competed in a sports event

Represented your school or district or country 

Given time, energy or money to charity, cause or community that you care about


You have made decisions that have led you on adventures and in directions that no one else has gone.

You are awesome.

You are remarkable.

There is no one like you on the planet. And there has never been - and never will be - another you in any other time either. 

So you deserve to make this life extraordinary. 

You are worthy of so much.


You can do hard things 

And you can get through this hard thing


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